The FIFA are a bunch of bent bastards thread (sponsored by Visa, Coca Cola, etc.)

[phonics]

Michel Platini has been implicated in the Swiss investigation of the FIFA corruption

647418368190992384

Sepp had nothing to do with it ofc.

[Toby]

We can't have a FIFA thread without probably the greatest photo of the year:

http://i.imgur.com/85DivWK.png

[Giggles]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ll3uipTO-4A


Fuck it. Players will still play and games will still happen, no matter how much money these all make.

[phonics]

It's over a 2 million CHF bribe from Blatter to Platini

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CPwYreNW8AAgZu1.png

[Benny]

I really hope they manage to pin something to this mob, Blatter should fuck off already.

[Ian]

If they take Platini down as well there won't be a :drool: big enough.

[Disco]

Is it wrong that I want as many people as possible to be implicated, charged, and locked up just because it will be a great spectacle?

[leedsrevolution]

Is it wrong that I want as many people as possible to be implicated, charged, and locked up just because it will be a great spectacle?

Not at all. It would be lovely.

[Disco]

Bobby Charlton paid off with a flatbed full of tenners, that kind of thing.

[Pleb]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-34363289

He's on the ropes lads.

[Ellzo]

Surely of Platini is involved then Price Ali must be favourite for FIFA? I reckon someone with that much money would be rather hard to bribe.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The focus on Blatter annoys me. He's so irrelevant to the bigger picture. Far more significant is what comes out of it, rather than what happens to some bent old fart pushing 80.

[niko_cee]

Sepp's been provisionally suspended.

[Dquincy]

Emotional scenes.

[phonics]

Emotional scenes.

http://i.giphy.com/94EQmVHkveNck.gif

[Dquincy]

http://i.giphy.com/94EQmVHkveNck.gif
I've been quoted by the creator of the new TTH. What a day to be alive :drool:

[Disco]

Creator and destroyer, so swings and roundabouts.

[Lewis]

So all it took was the sponsors getting nervous? Well what a shocker.

[phonics]

Creator and destroyer, so swings and roundabouts.

Me a couple weeks back


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lb13ynu3Iac

[Lewis]

I paraphrased that when Alan left and nobody got it. I was devastated.

[phonics]

What happened there by the way? I left and upon my return he was gone but occasionally lolled at.

[Lewis]

Shit. Mate. Just... Mate.

[Byron]

Let's just say he's the founder of the emergent Liverpool seethe contingent on TTH

[Disco]

Whatever the journo who asked that question was expecting I'm willing to bet it wasn't a quote from Vishnu.

[Giggles]

What happened there by the way? I left and upon my return he was gone but occasionally lolled at.

He went on to a forum and was arranging some lads to swing round Lewis' gaff for making a Hillsborough joke. The seethe hit epic levels, evidenced by his scurrying off forever.

[Disco]

Think Timbo and his trampoline based threats but sillier and less credible.

[Lewis]

The original thread is gone, as is Yevrah's (successful) search party. Fortunately we have the MELTDOWN preserved in this oversight (http://thedugout.tv/community/showthread.php?t=80644).

In short: I made a lazy Hillsborough crack when Liverpool lost to QPR, and Alan threatened to expose me to RAWK and the papers.

[Dquincy]

phonics bit awkward this, but can I have your autograph?

[Giggles]

I've been quoted by the creator of the new TTH. What a day to be alive :drool:


phonics bit awkward this, but can I have your autograph?

Have you been through a hip flask or what's the fishing in aid of?

[Dquincy]

Have you been through a hip flask or what's the fishing in aid of?

I was happy, but now i'm not. Stuff the autograph. :moop:

[Magic]

I paraphrased that when Alan left and nobody got it. I was devastated.

Was that before it was aired on BBC4?

[Lewis]

I'd never heard of him until recently, so obviously not.

[mugbull]

Alan was the truest homie. We've lost some good folk now with Taz gone, the real niggas are few and far between these days.

[John Arne]

Jerome Valcke (cunt) suspended.
Sepp Blatter suspended.
Michel Platini suspended.
Jack Warner banned.
Chuck Blazer banned.
Jeffrey Webb banned.
Amos Adamu banned.
Harold Mayne-Nicholl banned.
Vernon Manilal Fernando banned.
Reynald Temarii banned.
Chung Mong-joon banned.
Mohammed bin Hammam banned.

The completely transparent and not-at-all-corrupt Issa Hayatou set to take control in the short-term.

http://citifmonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/sepp-blatter-pic-action-images-793807428.jpg

[Benny]

What a complete set of cunts.

[phonics]

The Times have got their front page spot on:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CQ0wIZPWwAQA_WZ.jpg

[Lewis]

http://www.spiegel.de/international/world/documents-indicate-slush-fund-used-in-german-world-cup-bid-a-1058212.html

Does that mean England is literally the only country that isn't bent (in sports at least)?

[phonics]

Weren't we bent but not very good at it?

[randomlegend]

The original thread is gone, as is Yevrah's (successful) search party. Fortunately we have the MELTDOWN preserved in this oversight (http://thedugout.tv/community/showthread.php?t=80644).

In short: I made a lazy Hillsborough crack when Liverpool lost to QPR, and Alan threatened to expose me to RAWK and the papers.


I can't genuinely believe someone could be so precious. I mean I can but not someone who's been posting on here all these years. Let's hope for Alan's sake that he just died at an unfortunate time.

Taz :**************)

[randomlegend]

https://twitter.com/RAWK_Meltdown/status/192635608559132674

Fucking hell that's amazing :D

[bruhnaldo]

The original thread is gone, as is Yevrah's (successful) search party. Fortunately we have the MELTDOWN preserved in this oversight (http://thedugout.tv/community/showthread.php?t=80644).

In short: I made a lazy Hillsborough crack when Liverpool lost to QPR, and Alan threatened to expose me to RAWK and the papers.


Only just realised Yevrah is Harvey backwards.

Well my mind has officially been blown.

[mugbull]

I don't really care as much that Germany bribed their way to '06, Germany is a good place to have a world cup. Qatar isn't, and I'm surprised FIFA werent able to see that giving the WC to that joke of a country was the only thing that could lead to their undoing

[Disco]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/formula1/34552570

There's nothing like taking advice on corruption from a man who bribed a court to let him off a bribery charge, quite shocked that he'd sympathise with Blatter. Not that we should take him at all seriously, this is message meant for ears in Monza, Silverstone, and Texas.

[Byron]

Surely Ecclestone backing him is the final nail in the coffin for him.

[Disco]

Blatter clearly has no shame and an ego the size of a big pile of nazi gold so I don't think it would mean much, anyway he's just saying something topical and outrageous to make sure that the rest of what he says gets decent coverage. It is ever thus with Bernard.

[Lewis]

Do most Formula 1 fans dislike Bernie Ecclestone, or is it just you sadcases (although I suppose that's the definition of a Formula 1 fan)? Is it because of the shit races in toilets? How responsible has he been for the cars (and thus the racing) becoming boring?

[Giggles]

I think it all depends who's winning at the time as to how satisfied people are generally with the product.

[John]

That Alan seethe thread has reminded me that Yev once offered him a job after turning up pissed. 'Stella Yevrois'.

[Disco]

I'm not sure I dislike him, I just think he's no longer good for the sport. Without a doubt he moved F1 from a semi-amateur affair where you built your car in a shed, raced on Sunday and went to a funeral on a Tuesday into a well organised, stable thing that made a shitload of money. He's become a relic these days though, his method of dealing with teams and promoters (he's basically a billionaire second hand car salesman) has led to a completely fucked up structure which has been slowly strangling the sport for the last 10 years.

But essentially yes, just us sadcases.

[Lewis]

Isn't car racing (or at least the most high profile car racing) always going to be inherently tedious in the age of hyper-safety and MEGA MONEY?

[Disco]

Isn't car racing (or at least the most high profile car racing) always going to be inherently tedious in the age of hyper-safety and MEGA MONEY?

I'm not referring to how exciting it is, apart from a few years here and there the 'racing' has been pretty consistent. I'm talking about how, despite the MEGA MONEY, teams and circuits are going out of business left right and centre and the sport is owned by a hedge fund chosen because they promised to keep Bernard in his job. We've reached the point where his dealings are just helping him rather than being good for the sport as well (or not actively harming it at least).

[Lewis]

Yeah, but people moan about that as well.

[Disco]

They always have, just for different reasons.

In the 60' too many people died, in the 70's ground effect ruined everything, in the 80's turbos were killing the sport, in the 90's it was Nige's 'tache, and in the 00's tyres and aerodynamics ruined everything again.

[Ian]

http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/34635440

Gianni. :drool:

[John Arne]

Blatter has apparently crumbled :drool:

He claims that in 2010 it was decided that Russia would get the World Cup, and that it was pretty much decided that Qatar would follow.

[Benny]

Good, put him in jail the senile cunt.

[Ian]

I like that one of the presidential candidates is called Tokyo Sexwhale. I may have added the 'h.'

[phonics]

Blatter has apparently crumbled :drool:

He claims that in 2010 it was decided that Russia would get the World Cup, and that it was pretty much decided that Qatar would follow.

That's not what he said at all. He claims everyone agreed Russia and then the US but Sarkozy walked in with some royalty and 4 EU votes swapped from the US to Qatar.

[Benny]

Yeah you dick, Phonics was there alright.

[phonics]

659325782804795392

Nah, I can just read. The Harold disease is spreading.

[John Arne]

That's not what he said at all. He claims everyone agreed Russia and then the US but Sarkozy walked in with some royalty and 4 EU votes swapped from the US to Qatar.

I excluded the Sarkozy bit because it was largely irrelevant in the FIFA are corrupt shtick.

[John Arne]

Nah, I can just read. The Harold disease is spreading.

I intentionally omitted the Sarkozy bit, you dozy little shit.

[phonics]

Thanks for the indepth detail of 'They voted for Russia, than they voted for Qatar'. It was enlightening. Please keep sharing basic, well known facts.

[John Arne]

I didn't see you post it in the thread.
The important part was they decided in 2010 - not that they "just voted Russia and then voted Qatar".
Are you being intentionally retarded?

[Toby]

Chill out, lads, it really doesn't seem that important.

[phonics]

You need to calm down just because someone said your post was shit. Or you really would be turning into Harold.

[John Arne]

I simply responded to your smartarse comments.

[AE]

Not at all surprised by what Blatter said. No wonder Putin is the only one defending him.

[Weaver]

Sky reckon the German Police are in Germany's FA HQ at the minute...

661472208477401088

[Foe]

9 years after the event. Those floppy disks are long gone.

[Raoul Duke]

Uncle Sepp's gone hatstand: http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/34787547

Surely he's not going to try and get out of it 'on medical grounds' :moop:

[niko_cee]

The bigger news being the thieving, lying, "hard-working", better than us, more efficient Germans have been at it again. Oh, what a fucking surprise. Vorsprung ducht bribing. Bit like those really clever engines they came up with.

Sepp really is a side issue in all of this, bless him. He should just bury everyone. He must know pretty much everything there is to know.

[Lewis]

This (http://www.theguardian.com/football/2015/nov/14/qatar-world-cup-200-billion-dollar-gamble) is a sort-of-interesting look at Qatar's World Cup preparations. Hopefully they lose every group game 10-0.

[DC]

Better still, lets hope they get suspended from world football and aren't eligible to play at their own world cup, which Israel then wins with a goal from a Jewish Nigerian immigrant who qualified for international clearance after 5 years residency rushed through the day before the tournament starts.

Or something.

[Yevrah]

I still harbour some hope that it'll get moved or be boycotted.

If that doesn't happen I'd take Blatter going to prison and getting beaten/gangraped daily in his cell.

[Shindig]

It'll still go ahead but imagine the match-fixing allegations.

[John Arne]

I kinda hope it does go ahead... as much as it sucks that they bribed there way to get - I'm very much of the opinion that the World Cup should be played in places like this - it's just a shame that it will almost inevitably will have to be moved to winter due to the heat.

[Samadini]

They've essentially bought Xavi's child. Please be a girl.

[niko_cee]

Better still, lets hope they get suspended from world football and aren't eligible to play at their own world cup, which Israel then wins with a goal from a Jewish Nigerian immigrant who qualified for international clearance after 5 years residency rushed through the day before the tournament starts.

Or something.

:D

With the name Dajjal.

[Raoul Duke]

16:03: "Fifa is not corrupt, and neither am I, insists acting president Issa Hayatou - http://www.theguardian.com/football/2015/dec/03/fifa-not-corrupt-acting-president-issa-hayatou

19:13: "Fifa crisis: US charges 16 more officials after earlier Zurich arrests" - http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/34991874

:drool:

[John Arne]

Whenever Hayatou comes out with shit like that, the journalist should leave the room en-masse. Just don't entertain the clown.

[John Arne]

Blatter and Platini both banned for 8 years :D

http://www.theguardian.com/football/2015/dec/21/sepp-blatter-michel-platini-banned-from-football-fifa

[Kikó]

Such a shame.

[Mellberg]

Meh, they were fucked on that front anyway. Prison needed for genuine satisfaction.

[John Arne]

Surely misappropriation of charity funds is a criminal offence?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Prison? I want their heads stuck on the corner flags at the next World Cup.

[Kikó]

Surely misappropriation of charity funds is a criminal offence?

The money was just resting in their accounts.

[ItalAussie]

I always figured that Platini was clean; I just can't see what he had to gain from corruption. He was a rich former footballer - one of the all-time greats - with nothing left to prove. Why throw that away?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Ambition and greed. Easy for us plebs to declare that someone has enough money/power already but when you're in that position, most people always want more.

[niko_cee]

Plus he's French, so rampant corruption is, how would you say, de rigueur.

[John Arne]

Election for new president is currently taking place

Live coverage;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xEJQa5p7eM

Current odds;

https://gyazo.com/3d7cd9d37995d96b2e856099e29b6fbd.png

[Disco]

I'm curious as to whether Tokyo and Sexwale are common names wherever he comes from or if it sounds as crazy to them as it does to me.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Sheikh Salman sounds like he will be significantly worse than Blatter.

[Byron]

TOKYO SEXWALE (as a name like that has to be pronounced in all caps) has withdrawn. The cynic in me imagines this is so the CAF can pile their votes behind al-Khalifa.

[Disco]

I immediately thought he'd been implicated in something and forced out.

I've enjoyed various news-readers tying themselves in knots attempting not to pronounce his name the way it's clearly meant to be.

[Toby]

Sadly the proper pronunciation is Sex-wah-lay, but I for one am happy to pretend otherwise.

[John Arne]

Prince Ali should be running away with this. If Salman wins.... I'm out. Salman's presidential bid should be as difficult as swimming upstream :henn0rz:

[Jimmy Floyd]

Salman should win easily. Only Infantino can stop him but that would be an upset.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Infantino leads after the first round :drool:

Infantino 88
Salman 85
Prince Ali, fabulous he, 27
Champagne 7

So it needs Prince Ali and Champagne's votes to break Gianni's way. No idea.

[Byron]

Early indications are that some of the African countries aren't voting for Salman, which puts Infantino as favourite.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Infantino said he was expecting a lot of African votes. Issa Hayatou will be seething if he wins, which alone is an excellent reason for him to win.

[John Arne]

Apparently a lot of the Prince Ali votes are expected to go to Infantino, rather than Salman - so that should be that.

[John Arne]

It's Infantino!!!

[John Arne]

It's like Mourinho all over again... the translator ends up with the biggest gig.

[Jimmy Floyd]

This isn't going to enamour the Sheikhs to democracy much.

[Ian]

Gianni. :cool:

[CJay]

Infantino. :wub:

[Disco]

Sadly the proper pronunciation is Sex-wah-lay, but I for one am happy to pretend otherwise.

It's the sex bit they've been trying to avoid, just this morning I heard variations of sech, sek, even seech. Sexwahley is still a pretty awesome name to hear.

[Toby]

It's the sex bit they've been trying to avoid, just this morning I heard variations of sech, sek, even seech.

Oh. Well that's silly.

[Bernanke]

This can only end up ruining my opinion of Infantino, right?

[Toby]

You had an opinion of Infantino?

[Disco]

I certainly don't think FIFA are going to change very much, just become a bit more careful with their shittery.

[Raoul Duke]

Absolutely fuck all will change. He's obviously been elbows deep in shit as much as the rest of them.

[Disco]

They'll just start embezzling sensibly rather than using literal brown envelopes.

[Jimmy Floyd]

X in those South African languages generally denotes some kind of throaty click, so alas the frigid few may be right.

[Toby]

It seems somebody has changed the pronunciation guide on his Wiki page since I last looked, so perhaps it's a matter of profound debate.

It now says "'ch' as in 'loch'" where it once said whatever it says for a hard X.

[Disco]

X in those South African languages generally denotes some kind of throaty click, so alas the frigid few may be right.

He's not Xhosa or Zulu though (I'm totally an expert in African linguistics now) so no clicky noises, as far as I can (be bothered to) tell it is actually a 'k' or maybe a 'sh'.

Still, you don't get a guy who's name is spelled Sexwale in the news every day, have a bit of fun with it.